CRUSHFIESTA

Many have tried to define the term MOOK and truly complete a comprehensive anthropological study on what is, was, and will be THE MOOK in years to come. I start this by first referencing a very reliable source of information ... the Urban Dictionary...

“MOOK”

“A term coined by Douglas Rushkoff in an episode of PBS's "Frontline" entitled "The Merchants of Cool." Mooks are archetypal young males(teens-early 20s) who act like moronic boneheads. They are self centered simpletons who live a drunken frat-boy lifestyle(or are frat-boys). Examples can be found anytime someone watches "Jackass." Rushkoff claimed that the media glorifies this ideal and stifles natural self expression, however, some people might argue teenage boys have always acted like morons(its actually a long-standing stereotype). Nonetheless, standardized conformist dumbass-culture behind a veneer of exuberance is a scary notion indeed. Opposite of Mooks are Midriffs; oxymoronic innocent skanks who are modeled after Britney Spears”

Mooks are all around us ... it really is a term that transcends time and space ... other terms that could be used to describe a mook are kook, larry, tool, douche, bag, d-bag, mookhead, mookface, mookie blaylock, mookie wilson, hipster mook, clubbing ed hardy mook, first team all mook, captain mook, the embassador to the peoples republic of mook and so on and so forth

CLUBBER BOTTLE SERVICE FROM OUT OF TOWN OR THE VALLEY MOOK

This mook is most likely from out of town or the valley, similar to the bridge and tunnel crowd of NYC. Those of us who actually grew up in the great city of Los Angeles are subject to having to share our nights with these kooks. I'm not sure who decided that a t-shirt of a dragon raping a lion on skateboard with a dragon skull, sparkles, gold sequence, and roses was acceptable and/or appropriate attire for a grown man of 25-35 years of age. Additionally who are the girls that actually interact with this particular type of mook (see above urban dictionary definition for skanks and stay tuned for the next posting)

This is the guy that appears to be on 5 hits of double stack dolphin E-bombs b/c there is no music playing but he is dancing like its 1995 and Paul Oakenfold is spinning Tranceport live at the Techmo Bowl. Suck on some pacifiers and chew your face off you doosh.

These are the kinds of mooks that keep us normal brus in local dives and oldschool bars ...perhaps they have golden tee and beer on tap ...perhaps the girls aren't as decked out as hollygay but we are supporters of small business, America, tradition, honor, excellence, and the pursuit of crushing.

REMEMBER KIDS

A ....ALWAYS
B..... BE
C..... CRUSHING ....or closing ....

... after all COFFEE IS FOR CLOSERS ...b/c he drives an $800,000 BMW to work what do YOU drive? HIS watch is worth MORE THAN YOUR CAR ...

anyways .... i digress...

HIPSTER MOOK

I'm not sure when this whole hipster thing started ...i supposed i'm a child of the 90's and we had that whole alternative rock flannel, x-xross baggy thing going on so i just don't really understand this tight jean and indifference attitude... at least Rayban has made a comeback i suppose. There wasn't a day that went by when my mom didn't tell me to pull my pants up b/c i looked like a bum.

Well mom you where right ... but these kids have gone too far ..they look like fking fairyfggts ... they are killing their sperm b/c they have NO ROOM for THEIR BALLS in their FUKING TIGHT JEANS.

Indie rock ... don't get me started... yes the Beatles i love them, alternative rock ..loved that too, but what is this trash emo bull$hit ...LIFE IS TOUGH DEAL WITH IT.

Go buy a real bike w/ gears and breaks ... you are not a bike messanger... handle bars the size of a snickers bar does not increase the balance and maneuverability of your bike. You just look like an idiot when you are listening to your I-pod riding down the street on something that was designed to be ridden on A TRACK ...hence TRACK bike and not Wilshire Blvd or along the Newport OC beach scene.

... Im sorry this guy with the glasses just looks retarded ... those are glasses my parents wore in the 70s ...this is 2010 and pukka shells where not supposed to be worn w/ a doors t-shirt ...you probably haven't even smoken pot or done any type of hard hallucinogenic drug to even begin to understand the state of mind Jim was in when he wrote half of his lyrics. You are a mook ...do us a favor and KILLURSELF

POPPED COLLAR PRETTY BOY NO HAZING FRAT MOOK

For those of you that went to a college that has a greek system ... or you grew up on the east coast... you know this Mook very well. At USC they were houses like Lamda Chi a.k.a Ram The Guy and Sigma Chi which were "instabro" houses... no hazing ...no real broship...just lots of puka shells, team weightlifting, homosexuality, complete absence of narcotic abuse, and clothing w/ their greek letters all over them like cheerleaders... now thinking about it most of the male cheerleading squad probably came from these types of mooks.

With some kind of odd affliction towards pastel colored polos and the Abercombie catalogue these guys take MOOK to a new standard. They're kind of a mix between the metro sexuality of the clubber mook and the trendiness of the hipster mook. I think these pictures say more than any words i could write.

Their shelves are filled w/ creatin, hair gel, and play girl magazine and they prefer a cooler full of Smirnoff ice "for the ladies" ... im not sure how girls even end up with these mooks .... i suppose its b/c they are "nice guys" ... well i'd rather be an a$$hole prick as opposed to a popped collar mook any day of the week.

CRUSHFIESTA

Friday, November 12, 2010

HAPA TROJAN

"MOOK" DEFINED

Thursday, November 11, 2010

This is just fucked up

CRASIANS

Captain Awesome